Tips for Building a Harmonious Relationship with Your Nanny
The Nanny: More Than Just an Employee, They Are a Supportive Family Member
In the hustle and bustle of modern life, especially for families residing in tourist hubs like Bali, a nanny or caregiver often becomes an unsung hero. They don’t just help with childcare; they are an extension of the parents, a carrier of cultural influence, and a pillar of emotional stability in the household.
However, like any human relationship, building a successful and harmonious partnership with a caregiver requires effort, awareness, and mutual respect from both parties. For expatriate families or local families employing a Balinese nanny, this harmony is even more crucial as it involves bridging unique cultural, linguistic, and lifestyle gaps.
Creating a positive and lasting working relationship with your nanny is an investment that yields peace of mind for parents and a stable, loving environment for the child. Here is a comprehensive guide to establishing and maintaining a harmonious relationship with your nanny.
Pillar 1: Mutual Respect and Professionalism
A healthy relationship begins with a strong foundation of respect and a clear definition of professionalism. Although the nanny cares for the most valuable thing in your life—your child—it is vital to treat them as a valuable professional, not just a household servant.
1. Clarity from the Start with a Written Contract
Do not rely solely on verbal agreements, especially in Bali where professional norms might differ. Create a clear and concise employment contract covering:
- Working hours, break times, and weekly holidays.
- Salary, benefits (including sick/annual leave), and payment dates.
- Specific job description (e.g., is their duty purely childcare or does it include light housekeeping?).
- Emergency procedures.
Clarity eliminates ambiguity and prevents misunderstandings later on.
2. Respecting Personal Time and Boundaries
If your nanny is live-out (does not reside with you), ensure you strictly respect their going-home time. If they are live-in, provide adequate space and privacy. Remember, although they work for you, they have personal lives, families, and village commitments (adat) to fulfill, especially in Bali. Avoid contacting them or assigning tasks outside of agreed working hours unless there is a genuine emergency.
3. Being Fair with Tasks
Ensure that the tasks you assign fall within the agreed scope (e.g., if they were hired as a nanny, do not suddenly ask them to perform major house cleaning). If you require additional help, discuss it openly and offer fair and appropriate compensation.
Pillar 2: Open and Culturally Sensitive Communication
Communication is the lubricant of any working relationship. Without it, the machine will seize up due to friction.
4. Make Communication a Routine
Conduct a brief 5-minute check-in at the start of the day (today’s plan) and a 5-minute check-out at the end of the day (daily report). This ensures continuity of care and provides an opportunity for the nanny to voice any concerns or questions. Use a daily journal or quick messages as a written record.
5. Addressing Language Barriers with Empathy
If there is a language barrier (e.g., you only speak English and your nanny is more comfortable with Bahasa Indonesia/Balinese), use simple, clear language and avoid slang or idioms. Use visual aids (like a routine chart with pictures) and translation apps when discussing complex or sensitive issues (like a child’s health). Your effort to learn a few basic greeting words in Bahasa Indonesia will be highly appreciated.
6. Avoid Assuming “Yes”
In many Asian cultures, including Bali, people tend to say “Yes” (Ya or Nggih) to show respect or avoid conflict, even if they haven’t fully understood the instruction. After giving an instruction, don’t just accept a “Yes.” Politely ask the nanny to repeat the instruction in their own words: “Thank you. Could you please tell me what you are going to do now?” This creates a “closed loop” of communication that confirms comprehension without causing the nanny to lose face.
Pillar 3: Valuing Culture and Private Life
In Bali, personal life is deeply tied to the village, custom, and the Hindu religion. Ignoring these aspects can damage the working relationship.
7. Respect Religious Rituals (Canang Sari)
Almost all Balinese nannies are devout Hindus. They have an obligation to create and place Canang Sari (daily offerings). Ensure they have sufficient time, especially in the morning, to perform this ritual without feeling rushed. Acknowledging the importance of this ritual is a form of utmost respect.
8. Flexibility for Traditional Ceremonies
Bali has many traditional ceremonies (such as Ngaben, Piodalan, or Galungan-Kuningan). While these might disrupt the work schedule, show empathy and flexibility. Discuss it well in advance and plan for compensatory time or days off. Allowing the nanny to participate in their traditional ceremonies demonstrates that you value their identity and community obligations.
9. Recognize Their Work Philosophy
Many Balinese nannies live by the philosophy of Tri Hita Karana (the three causes of harmony). This influences how they care for the child (with calmness and attention to the environment) and how they interact with you (with courtesy). Understand that their calm or less aggressive demeanor is not a lack of initiative, but a manifestation of their cultural values.
Pillar 4: Adequate Compensation and Recognition
Concrete forms of respect and professionalism are fair and timely compensation.
10. Competitive and Timely Salary
Ensure the salary you offer meets or exceeds the industry standard in Bali for the experience and responsibility provided. Pay the salary on the same date every month, without delays. This financial reliability builds unwavering trust.
11. Benefits and Bonuses
Consider providing simple benefits (e.g., transportation allowance, phone credit, or health insurance) and give cash bonuses during major holidays (Galungan, Eid al-Fitr, or year-end). Small bonuses for overtime or extra tasks can boost motivation and loyalty.
12. Health and Comfort in the Workplace
Ensure the nanny has access to decent food or adequate time for a quiet lunch break. If they work long hours, ensure there is a comfortable and suitable place for them to rest. Treat them with the same kindness and hospitality you expect them to show your child.
Conclusion
Creating a harmonious relationship with your nanny is not about being a “nice boss,” but about being an informed and respectful partner. When a nanny feels safe, valued, and respected, they will naturally give their best to your child. In Bali, where culture and work are closely intertwined, this harmony is the golden key to accessing high-quality, stable, and loving childcare services, ultimately providing true peace of mind for your entire family.